This, my friends, is the best career advice I’ve ever gotten. It came 15 years ago when I was a wet behind the ears PR chick for Microsoft and nothing has topped it since. It’s allowed me to push forward in the face of opposition and set me free from worrying (as much) about what people think about me. This has allowed me to get A LOT done. 

Many young people (read: women) recently out of undergrad are worried about being liked all the time, because that has been rewarded. Being liked is fantabulous and I don’t advocate being mean. But wanting/needing to be liked often holds you back from some of the behaviors that can make you successful like:

• Asking for what you want and need
• Challenging and questioning others
• Presenting your ideas with confidence
• Being direct and giving feedback
• Tooting your own horn

These are some of the things that will make you successful, but they’re not necessarily what’s recognized and rewarded at companies. Especially if you’re a woman. So, my challenge to everyone is to not worry about being liked all the time, and my challenge to managers is to take a long term view of results and relationships and reward folks for making the unpopular choice once in a while.

So, it’s a delicate dance between getting things done in the best way you know how and not pissing people off. But sometimes you have to. And you will. And that’s OK.